I've never really considered myself a mean person. I don't like when people are angry or offended by me and i try to fix it when that does happen. On several different occasions lately, I've been told that I come across mean, and angry, and that people view me as a bitch. This hurts. It really sucks... what sucks worse is knowing that my peers see me this way but I don't know what I'm doing exactly to give them that impression. I try to be nice to people but maybe it's just part of my personality. Maybe I'm just one of those not nice people that other people avoid.
I don't want to be that person, I don't want people to be afraid of me or intimidated by me and as a result avoid me all together. It really sucks being told that you have a crappy personality and that a large number of people you associate with on a regular basis think you're a crappy person. I need to figure out what I'm doing wrong and how to fix it. Maybe I need some kind of professional help, or maybe I need to take some kind of medication... Maybe I am mean and intimidating and a bitch, maybe I just thought I was nice when really I'm a jerk. I really need to figure out how to fix this. Or at least figure out how to fake it really well. There's a saying that goes "crazy people don't know their crazy", maybe the same holds true for mean people. Maybe I am all the things that people think I am and I just don't know it yet.
I need to learn how to not be mean. Maybe that means I should just not talk to people as much. I really don't know what it is I'm doing wrong so until I figure it out I should probably just keep to myself.
OYE! This freaking sucks!
