shut up brain!

So lately I've been plagued with thoughts, all kinds of thoughts. I wonder about my future and what it holds. I know that a large majority of my future is in my own hands but I still wonder. I wonder what direction life will take me once I graduate. Grad school? Marriage? Kids? I know that I've been feeling restless, unsettled, I've been feeing a longing for something that I'm afraid to acknowledge out loud that I will probably never have. I almost let slip my fears and concerns and thoughts early in the morning but kept it under wraps, well for the most part. I don't want to reveal how I really feel because I fear once those facts are placed before me, it will all come crumbling apart. I don't know what I'm doing. I don't what's going to happen, I have this looming fear that I'm the one that's going to get pummeled. oye.